At the event Friday night, there were some questions I didn't get around to answering because I was stuffing my face with seafood bibimbap (and later, I just found other people far more interesting).

When did you fall in love with kink?

I feel like an outlier with this one. Because I haven't.

I wouldn't call it falling in love. If anything, it's more of that sweet spot where you could see yourself falling in love, but it isn't the end of the world if you don't. Or maybe you're actively falling, and you're content with that.

I was always a smidge on the kinky side, with bouts of actively pursuing and exploring it. I haven't had a big Moment of when things just really clicked; it's a bunch of little affirming moments that let you know you're on the right path or something.

What are you missing in your current kink life?

the destruction of capitalism

I've also been missing my thuddy impact play.

And I want a play collar that you can tug on. :P

And as always, more queer shit. Please.

Introduction

I should put this on the home page. But for reference:

Hey, my scene name is Hedgebae and I use they/them pronouns. I've been off-and-on in kink stuff since 2012. Because of that, I feel like a perpetual beginner... but I have a good handle on what I desire and crave, now.

My goals, when I get out of the house, is

• to connect with other people of color-- but to be real specific, other Black people in the scene. A large part of what I haven't been around local events is that I'm very likely the only/few Black person at events, and that can be harrowing and lonely.

• to explore my more Dominant side, as well as codify what I like while being submissive.

• always, to learn and talk about things! Different ways of playing, new terms and techniques, and swapping knowledge and stories.