For the first time Sunday night, I was a Dom(me) for someone. I wasn't just going with the flow or anything; I was specifically asked to. Which made sense, considering I was also the one doing the all-limbs-restraining.
I was nervous and completely out of my comfort zone. I was feeling incredibly shy, too. I drew a blank a few times when the sub asked for commands (I'm not used to that kind of power!).
But it was exhilarating.
My partner was shocked that I've never been a capital-D Dom(me) before. So earlier this week, I was given homework. On Tuesday, this is what I came up with (so far).
The List
Dom/Domme/Top, the more gentle things
(things I'm doing to the sub)
- bondage
- breast smothering
- erotic massage
- fingering
- giving orders (tasks?)
- body worship (specific instructions)
- check in periodically
- drawing a bubble bath
- meow
- position self ("kneel")
- take care of yourself
- wear something cute
- sex (penetrative, oral, etc.)
- praise
- gender affirming
- positive reinforcement
- sensation play
- sensory deprivation (blindfold)
- taking care of
- tasks (orders?)
- beverage prep
- dress/undress me/self
- teasing
- toy use
- using their body for my pleasure
Sub, giving
- being a pet
- being a brat!
- Cuddle Deliveries, and favorites:
- drawing bubble bath
- fetch quests
- massages
- oral
- reading out loud
Sub, receiving
(Can also give as a Dom or Sub)
- being called 'pet'
- breath play
- body worship
- erotic massage
- impact play
- orgasm play (denial or forced)
- nipple play
- sex (penetrative, oral, etc.)
- sensation play
- sensory deprivation (blindfold)
- tasks
- fun
- sexy
- ...research?
- ...writing?!
- teasing
- temperature play (wax, ice)
- toy use
- tummy rubs
Aftercare Needs
- affirmations
- cuddles
- doze/nap
- hydration
- lil kissies
- music
- ambient
- chill
- lo-fi
- snacks
- soft things
- soothing lotion rub down
- talk thru scene
- likes
- dislikes
- ideas
- improvements
Research Topics
- aftercare
- costumes
- domming
- play names
- props
- soft skills, esp. for Dom
- leadership skills
- communication
- decision-making
- subspace
Worksheets, Other Links